This is PATHETIC. We send you to the finest schools and give you the best education available and you write 7 lines in CRAYON. It is the end of civilization as we know it.
-Uncle Jim
This is the end of the ass chewing. I have events of more force and moment to report.
“A Bear” Sept 28, 29, 30 , Oct 1
This A.M. early I went out to collect faggots for the fire. I was mooching along when a man came out of the bushes holding a coffee cup. He spoke “Have you got your garbage covered up?” This seemed to be a curious thing to say to someone early in the morning that you had never seen before.
My response was – um!
He said, “there is a bear in the neighborhood.” “Whoa Nellie” what good news.
He said that two days ago a bear came to his cabin (Just behind Fox, it is new). The bear walked around a while and left, heading for the Rockin R. He followed the bear. The bear walked around the deck and faunched around a while and then went down the gulch.
He took me up the road toward Odin and there in the dust were bear tracks, as big as my hand. The man said that the bear was this high (a six foot tall man with his arm straight down and hand pointing out). I was very happy. The many went back into the woods.
A while later I was coming home with my faggots and I saw him with a huge fire in the fire pit at 9:00am in the morning. I also saw a monster pile of cut logs right there. He had an embarrassment of log and was having a fire just because he could.
I slowed down and hunched over to make myself look as pitiful as possible. A sorry old man with a miserable packet of faggots.
I wanted him to say “Just a minute old timer, let me bring a few of these logs over to your camp and split them up for you. No need to kill yourself”—it didn’t happen. He didn’t even look up, he just kept peeing in the fire pit.
A curious man, un-generous and no skills whatever in the mind reading department.
Interesting thing “B” – “Explosions”
When I got home yesterday and was reading my book I heard a series of explosions. I thought was the cable tv guys blowing up rocks. I had gone down the gully trail to Lemon Springs looking for bear/lion tracks. At the bottom of the gulch is that camp where no one has been since the last Millenium and at this deserted place was a huge pile of logs just the right length and well seasoned. I thought to myself, “If I were a thief I could take these home, no more faggot chasing.” If I was a thief I would be a lazy one and no way was I going to carry these logs two at a time all the way back up the gulch. I went on feeling very virtuous because I didn’t steal the logs when I could have.
I was just about to the park fence when the explosions began again. This time I knew what it was – black powder rifle deer hunters. They were just up the hill and out of sight. The blasts kept up and seemed to be getting nearer. The I heard rifle shots. Black powder is not scary they don’t go very far. Rifle fire IS scary. They go a very long way. I hustled myself out of the gully up onto the Pacific Coast highway and walked down the middle of the road whistling. I made it home alive. I went to the resort to get water and a cowperson at the water tap told me that her husband had taken out a trail ride and strapped on his side arm. She said the forest ranger had told them that the bear was around and was hungry because there were no berries, and to be careful.
I am presently laying on my chaise lounge and looking as delicious as possible. The plan is to chum the bear close enough to get a look. It takes me 6 seconds to get from the chair to the door. (I timed it) So I am in no (or little) danger – wish me luck.
Next day. No bear, no turkeys, no deer. I think all the explosions sent them scurrying to the park. — However, as the Marlin Perkins of the Ponderosa, I do have a wild kingdom tale to tell.
I was laying on my lounge (what else is new?) and a squirrel came to see me. I’m sure that it was the naughty squirrel of last year who ate all the candy and made a mess. Why I know this is when I went for a walk this morning I left the back door open – when I got back the first thing I saw was that someone had rummaged in the garbage can, but was no longer present. I discovered later that the little bugger had jumped up on the the counter and had taken several handfuls of my butter. The squirrel walked around and looked at me for a while. I had naught for him to eat but I remembered the thousand year old shredded wheat things in the cupboard. I got a handful and placed them on the deck. The squirrel picked one up and nibbled on it, then he jumped off the deck and ran into the fire pit and thrashed around sending ashes flying.
He came and got another wheat thing and jumped off the deck. This time he dug a hole, dropped it in and covered it up. He did this three times then his mother called him and he went home. I went out and marked the hiding places with an arrow on a white rock. The next person to read this can go look for the arrows out in front of the fire pit and dig a small hole and see what you find. Cover it back up though it is probably his winter stash.
Oct 1
I have written in here every day. See how easy it is.
I really like the Pagan Altar thingy out near the toilet. That took a lot of time and talent and skill. It took someone with fabulous parenting skills and a lot of little helpers. It is beautiful, thank you.
It rained much of the day big thunder bumpus and lightning. I feared forest fire until it began to rain no fire could live through that.
I have run out of food – so I’m going to make mac and cheese out of the cabinet. If I don’t die it is okay to eat. I might try some out on that naughty squirrel. He never goes away. I’m afraid to leave the door open at all.
-Uncle Jim